forewarning: this post is very random, dont say i didnt tell you.
i was driving home from work the other day, and my tummy was doing this funny thing… this funny thing that made me think about being pregnant. for anyone who has actually experienced pregnancy and childbirth – that more than likely did NOT sound wierd. infact, you ‘more than likely’ know what im talking about. in the same manner as someone who[for whatever reason] loses an appendage, and “feels” the ghost limb afterwards.. there may be many things that trigger that mental association, but regardless of the trigger – for a split moment, they remember the feeling of having that appendage as though it were a ghost. The same goes with pregnancy. the feeling of having that child inside of you – moving, communicating, KICKING! :) when its gone, its as though a part of you is gone too. of course they are kicking, moving, and communicating now in the real world; but it is so very different. and everrrry now and then, you might still get this feeling… maybe its gas, maybe regular old digestion… whatever the case may be – when that mental association is made theres no denying the memory of once having that baby inside of you, with you, for 9 months. —- so, i was driving home the other day, thought of this… analogy of a ghost baby. and it made me smile.
so, many of you who are actually going to read this, may know that kyle will be leaving this saturday. — it kind of make me sad, but HEY! its not the end of the world, he will be back in just a couple years. but i just wanted to share an LOL moment that we had yesterday. my boyfriend andrew is playing some new video game that just came out, and i was making an off-the-wall statement about it to kyle as i was checking my facebook “yeah, i just dont understand guys and their video games” i say this as im clicking on my “sorority life” icon application on facebook. kyle is, very inquisitively looking at what im doing and he’s like “what? you play this?… all of that pink. uuuh. i think im going to throw up! does andrew know you play this?” i am about to rofl, at his comments to the ONLY application i even play on facebook(bc im not an app junkie, dont like ‘em, dont play ‘em) — in my defense i try to explain that i dont even spend that much time on it. “i only sign on occasionally to use my energy, it builds up over time” however, i notice that im only a few points away from getting the the next level, so i decide to ‘fight’ to get a few extra points. kyle is still watching all of this in amazement “what is that youre doing? youre fighting?? how do you fight.. whuh? with outfits, cars and accessories ? *laughing hysterically* i cant believe youre doing this” still in my defense, im trying to explain that i only fight when im about to level up to get extra points because its annoying to spend so much time on there. we continue to discuss and lol at why im fighting a girl who has 200 girls in her house as opposed to the girl who has 300 girls in her house, because i only have 210 and it would be stupid to fight the girl with 300 bc i know id already lose. the conversation ends something along the lines of “mann, i just dont understand girls and their video games” which made me totally LOL. i know this was so random and might not even make you LOL. but it made me LOL, and its memories like this that im going to miss for the next 2 years. :) //end.
now for a more serious topic. you may or may not know that my boyfriend is in the marines, if youve met him its more likely that you know that. either way,… 7 months ago, the only association i had with the military was that i had a few friends who had joined,… nothing that really, effectively tied me emotionally into having an opinion. so i didnt… i just didnt have much of an opinion and i didnt care to form one either. now,… NOW.. its just all so real to me. he gets out in “almost” one year. a couple weeks and we’ll start the 12 month countdown. when we first started talking he thought we would be deploying within the jan – march 2010 time period. and somewhere along the lines, it became something that was unsure.. if you keep up with it, you may know that McChrystal sent a request to Obama for more troops and suddenly it was a “wow, he might deploy any day now” kind of idea. that really scared me, actually. i feel like it is something that puts his well-being at risk, and i hate that! i know its so that we can be safe “”quote un quote. but what does all of that really mean? over here, we are so dissociated from the reality of what they have to experience. (in case you were wondering, i do not have a particularly conclusive thought on this matter, im just rambling some thoughts out) and then we have all of these recent deaths over-seas. and more than ever before i have this feeling of respect and honor in my heart for them, but more than ever.. i dont want him to leave. and this might be horrible, but i think that im so glad its not him who is over there right now. and i guess i cant do anything but pray. for him, and for those who are over there right now, risking their lives.. fighting with everything they have.
veterans day; i finally see the value in having such a moment set aside so that we can remember and honor all the men who have fought for us.
Strength and honor are her clothing
teach·a·ble (tch-bl) adj.
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