dear faceless stranger,

(this may make sense to nobody, but thats ok)

hello you.

somedays i wonder if you will ever show yourself, and these days grow into an oblivion at times.

time is a tangible length, though… wrapping itself around my desire for you – let it be known(?) that i will stop at nothing for you.

am i my own worst enemy? i question. but it is for this that i make my decisions.

decisions for the future, decisions for you, decisions for us.

and i am consoled by my adamance.

for now, let love be less feeling(which is the emotional) and something more of wisdom (which is the rational).

i wrote this on facebook tonight, and liked it – so i decided to post it here as well. i am learning how to make decisions for the future and not just for the momentary. learning how to decipher those rationals from those emotionals. learning how to talk, how to watch, how to learn… instead of just act(on impulse mostly). i think that these are good things. all part of the Plan. part of growing up. i am going to love when i look back on this one day,… with my faceless stranger.

Strength and honor are her clothing

the power of prayer

so, its probaby much too late and long overdue for this post but it seems to be a recurring idea with my posts lately, so lets go with it. :)

at the banquet the other night, for the building fund… pastor steve said (something), im not sure – but regarding money and the building fund. and it got me to thinking. now, before i go further let me state my disclaimer: i am not saying that we do not need money for the building fund. obviously money is quite the tangible answer to being able to proceed in the building fund. however, what i am saying is that.. have we forgotten the power of prayer? i wonder how many of us who were pumped up and excited at the beginning of the campaign, because yes.. it was a very inspiring presentation on the “to be” building, but i wonder how much of that zeal has been lost? i wonder how many of us now look at those business card sized window clings and dont think twice, or do.. but only 50 percent of the time. yes, yes, yes we need money. but we need ferventness.. we need passion… we need prayer. we need action to be taken in the spiritual realm that will produce an amplified re-action in the physical realm. are we demanding so much of ourselves instead of relying on the One, Who has the ability to produce the desired results? i heard pastor micah referto it once as synergy and i was unsure as to what that meant so i totally googled it :] the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects. and i really liked that, well put.

so yeah, maybe this is/would be a good reminder for anyone, or all of us – but mostly me. and not merely in regards to the building campaign. i could explain it more, but basic point is that i think i have lost… maybe never even have found.. that place of familiarity. and i feel like i crave it, i need it. but theres a part of me that is scared.. why? i dont know. because it is new.. unventured territory. and just to conclude and ponder upon this definition of “familiarity”
fa·mil·iar·i·ty (f-mlyr-t, -ml-r-)
n. pl. fa·mil·iar·i·ties
1. Considerable acquaintance with.
2. Established friendship; intimacy.

Strength and honor are her clothing

an incomplete thought,… or a few

i felt like it has been a while since i last posted a picture and well… this is more of a graphic than a picture perse’ but oh well. it will suffice; it is my favorite.

so i have been thinking lately, and wanting to blog those thoughts. however, i was waiting for one of them to make a circle and complete itself. that hasnt happened;;; ill post them anyhow :)

thought 1: im not sure if i want to post this one o.O it came from a recent conversation with a friend; upon beginning positive confessions over a particular situation or circumstance have you ever felt like you were infact in denial?

thought 2: i have found that remembering the past can help to improve my view on the present even during the most frustating of circumstances

thought 3: goals are not goals if you are not “actually” moving toward them.

:) and although, now that i look at these 3 thoughts they seem oddly similiar, they were not even closely related upon origination.. so yeah. thats all.

id like to forget memories, because sometimes even when you think youve moved on – the memory can still jump up and twang your heartstrings. i found a set of goals that i had written much over a year ago,(again completley unrelated to thought # 1,2, or 3) and one goal was for me to learn how to stabilize myself emotionally – whether you may realize it or not – i used to have very off-the-charts emotional levels – particularly reactions. i would get very hyped about things and was quite unable to maintain a mellow aka rational viewpoint or approach. it would take me days, sometimes weeks to be able to pace myself. idk if you can understand what im even trying to say.. so ill stop. but it is awesome to see how much i have changed, grown, since then.. however if i had to take a look at my life now versus then i would have to say that if i lacked anything it would be proactivity.. i may get too mellow these days as opposed to hyped. annnnd i didnt really mean to break off into this tangent of a paragraph that this has turned into now, so i will go :) peace be with you. stop and think about that, like really… p e a c e

Strength and honor are her clothing