[Not] living in the hindsight

have you ever been caught in a moment that you realize the mistake you just made(past tense)? and you consider how hindsight is always 20/20? well today, i realized something: i need to slow down. and not just in my car, but in many areas of my life. yea yea, i know… this definitely isnt the first time that ive ‘realized’ this, but today – im paying attention. and tomorow, i will be paying attention. and the day after? i will be paying attention. i need to slow down, and just pay attention. this is how you do not live in the hindsight. so often, we are racing through life and not taking the pre-cautionary steps needed in order to maintain a successful stride… and then when we wreck, or get a ticket, or hit a pothole which blows our tire out we think how clearly it seems in the hindsight. well i dont want to live in the hindsight. i want to slow down and make sure that im paying attention as im going along so that i can confidently say that i live life in the 20/20 head on and not in the hindsight.

but i cant slow down, without re-prioritizing. and there are definitely some things that just arent going to make the list. one of those non-list making things is blogging, but certainly is not going to be the only thing re-adjusted to accomodate for more important things. so, until i talk to you again…

1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. 14 Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. 15 Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Strength and honor are her clothing

is ignorance really bliss?

obviously not. but here are my thoughts on the matter, they may be somewhat scattered but this subject has been running through my head recently in regards to nothing inparticular, just random.

ever met someone who was always right. or someone who was always negative. or someone who was consistently impatient. etc etc etc? and to make matters worse, maybe its a person with whom you felt comfortable enough to address said issue… but they are so naive, or ignorant, or not self-aware enough to recognize what it is that youre saying.. even when you break it down (like legos)? what if that person were you?

i ask a lot of questions. and i am always asking myself questions. second checking myself, especially in areas that i think it may be easy to live in denial. its something that my mom always said as i was growing up “ignorance is bliss” except im sure there were some pretty nasty adjectives thrown in there, and the statement was deff made in reference to other people who were ohso much more dysfunctional than she, after so many years of effective therapy. ha!

anyways. so i think in regards to patience and diligence. how self-aware am i really being in these matters(and more). and in part, this may go back to that entire “be exceptional” idea that i have. i want to be the best that i can be, and i dont want to be sitting back thinking that i am doing my best when in all reality i am just lacking the pursuit of what it is that i want to be… and completely ignorant.

Strength and honor are her clothing

Next Post

crying out for some relief,
and i keep breaking my own heart
giving up on my resolve,
i keep trying but i keep failing
this all seems so familiar,
i think we’ve been here once before,
i’m saying sorry once again,
i’m saying sorry once again

i can’t breathe (everything i do is useless)
i can’t do this on my own (i’m fading)
too many times i’ve left in silence
this time i won’t give up so soon

i remember the first time i ever heard this song, it completely threw me into tears. even though i had never heard it before, the lyrics were quite familiar to my heart. do you ever feel like youre doing this? breaking your own heart. setting yourself up for failure,… continually a disappointment? i feel like it has been quite some time since i have disconnected myself from the ritualism of this mode, but occasionally i still feel it there. as though its lingering in the background, taunting me. desperate to grab my attention.

maybe this makes no sense? but if youve ever experienced a time in your life when you felt like a continual failure then you can probably relate. does any of this sound familiar to you? –>“how to live a failure proof life” i wish that i had actually heard all of this message series. edit: i wish that i had been paying attention enough to know that this message series isnt over. ;) going to listen to the CD’s and catch up… so, i think im done.

Strength and honor are her clothing