today i am finishing cleaning up and doing some much needed work. i dont talk much about it, but there are times when my home gets to a point that its overwhelming to even wake up… and sometimes i dont.

i asked some people, here recently, what their opinions were on making life changes…. is it more promising to alter the said changes over a course of time, slowly yet surely introducing the change or to make a sudden change(with an obvious point of sticking to it)… regardless of what the “answer” may be, after having thought about it, i began to realize that everytime that i have ever done anything, and done it successfully, it has been a sudden change type of movement in my life.

before coming back to the church a couple years ago and dramatically jerking my life back into place, i had ‘decided’ to make changes several times.. over and over and over again. you know, so much that each time the thought slowly drifted through the back of my mind that this time was no different than my previous failed attempts.

ive been going through that again somewhat recently on different matters. i dont always feel like a good mom, and only some of those times are the days that are hard to get out of bed. i feel very undisciplined, with mostly everything. i feel like i hold such high standards for myself, yet i dont seem to pass even the lowest of them. i dont tend to have the highest diligence with time, or money management. its hard at times to find motivation for things that should hold the highest priorities.

in essence, i feel as though ive just been floating through the past couple years. really accomplishing much of nothing.

i know this is not much of one conclusion, but eh. que sera sera?

today is a new day.

Strength and honor are her clothing