wow.

P Steve is teaching a series on FAQ- Frequently Asked Questions. His latest post is on the question: As a Christian, if I have fallen from “The Path”, how do I start over? — for me, for anyone who knows me, you know how relative of a question this is to my life.

its so funny, because when i was listening to that guy… prodigal john who i mentioned a couple posts previous to this, he was saying things like.. how when you “start over” you feel like there is so much “catching up” to do. and the entire time i was listening to him i was like, mmmhm. mmhm. that was me, mmmhm. there really is not catching up, just forgiveness. which is one of the reasons that my God is the best :)

but back to what i was saying. — there was this person at stage20 once who… within the conversation, i mentioned that i had a ‘toddler aged child’ and also that i had came back to church within the past year and a halfish…. when i stated these two things they were not in relation to one another, but the person i was speaking with quickly placed them in relation. stating something along the lines of “yea thatll do it” insinuating that people often make the decision to come back to church based on children. at least thats what i interpreted…. since i didnt ask further, i dont suppose i can state anything more than my assumption. ANYWAYS, the point is… these two things had no relation whatsoever.

when i was pregnant, after i had pretty much avoided ‘the church’ for most of my pregnancy because i was too embarassed to show up — i was expecting… what, i dont know? ridicule, judgement, dissappointment, dismembership, castration. i felt like i had a huge red A on my chest. and how insane is it now, to think that people would have actually treated me that way? now that i know what i didnt know then?.. haha.. that thats not really how christians act. or should act? lol.

i remember that i told pastor micah that i knew where i needed to be. it was just that simple. but why didnt i stay? aaaaahhh, dear. i allowed so many things to keep me away… guilt, “a busy schedule”, undiscipline… im sure i could think of a much longer list. the point is that all satan needed to do to keep me from God was keep me away from church. and there i was, defeated.

P Steve said “Stay in Church. Stay in Church. Stay in church. Stay in Church. Stay in Church. Stay in Church.” I couldnt agree with him any more wholeheartedly. when i finally did break, even though i felt as far away from God as i think i could have(and i dont ever want to test to see if i can feel further!!!!!) i knew that faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. i made a decision, a commitment to not let anything(including myself on those mornings that i just didnt want to get up) hold me back from being at church. and being involved? i was lucky enough to have been recruited on a team in the nursery, because before then? i would have never known the value of having such awesome relationships as the ones you form when you serve together, when you pray together, when you support one another.

yeah. so. thats all i have to say about that, i think. ive just had a whirlwind of memories, and how thankful i am to have such an awesome pastor, be a part of such an awesome church, and better yet? be a piece of such an awesome thing that God is doing in this WORLD.

the end.

for nothing more than sheer amusement.

watch this first,

and then, watch this :)

alright, so i found this guy on jennifers blog and i have totally been stalking him all morning long, because i think that he is just that cool.

hmm, and just to recap on the entire stalking comment i made at stage20 sunday night,… im not really a stalker. i promise. i use that word strictly as an exagerative adjective to a very simple action.

k, so anyways. this guy is very cool, and ive been enjoying reading everything in his head. check him out, and listen to these :)